this is so embarassing.
right before i went to bed, i flipped through the local channels on TV to see if there was something interesting to watch. I chanced upon a coverage of an award's night and decided to watch a little just to see what the local stars were wearing.
after surviving the torture of listening to pops fernandez miserably trying to crack jokes with ogie alcasid, i was ready to turn off the TV. but suddenly, she announced that one of the philippines' better singers, regine velasquez, was going to render a song. regine began to sing in a her sweet voice that can give goosebumps to anyone who can hear. and then i got to listen to what she was singing -
Sa piling mo ako'y buhay
napapawi ang lungkot at lumbay
walang iba para sa akin
at habang buhay kitang mamahalin
pakakaingatan ko ang iyong puso
hindi ka na mag-iisa
pagkat ako ay lagi mong makakasama
sa piling mo nadarama
ang walang patid na pagsinta
minimithi, gabi't araw
na ang magmamahal sa akin ay ikaw
(of course i didn't remember all the lyrics, i just got these from a post at weddings at work.)
she was singing it as if she was whispering it. i can almost imagine my bridal march. it was then that i realized that while i do want to get married and that i really am blessed for finding someone whose heart i would love to take care of, i would still leave my parent's home, a place where i have been happily living ever since i was a child.
i would have to leave my father, who used to drive me to and from school, which during my college years, was only five minutes away, but in my high school years, required a drive through the south expressway, the narrow roads of laguna and the scenic but steep paths of mt. makiling.
i would also have to leave nanay, my nanny when i was still a child, who up to now would cook misua every time anyone in the house, including my dogs, would celebrate his or her birthday.
and i started to cry. because i was reminded that where ever i go, my family will never cease to love me and that they would continue to try to take away my sorrow and my pain.
and then i heard regine wail. or rather continue singing the song by shouting or screeching. i was just too irritated to continue crying.
and thus, ended my journey through mushy lane.